Why clown? Why death? I started as a hospice volunteer many years when I was running my own wedding video business. I enjoyed being able to give people presence and compassion during a very difficult time. I became disillusioned with working at weddings and wanted to change to doing something that would allow me to offer that same meaningful compassion. After a lot of analysis, Nursing was the quickest way to get to work in hospice. In 2016 I started nursing school with a CNA class that led to a job at a nursing home.

I worked as a CNA through nursing school and then became a hospice RN case manager shortly after. It became clear that much of the job of the hospice team was education and support of the patient and the family to move towards acceptance of the dying process. There were so many challenges because the wider culture in the United States is averse to talking about death and dying, and a strong belief that there is always something to be done that can extend someone’s life. I wanted a way to reach more people to teach about death, to help people reach a place of acceptance of mortality before their loved one or themselves are faced with dying.

Then the clown was born. Drawing on a history of acting, musical performance, and a love for silly nonsense, Grapefruit the clown came to life. He is the new face of the Angel of Death, after the Grim Reaper decided to retire. The skull face, the dark cloak, the scythe were all too scary and the PR committee from the Underworld decided to try a little more silliness instead. Why scare them when you can remind them to have some joy on your way out?

I regularly perform stand up comedy to talk openly about death, dying, and mortality. I also clown at nursing homes for residents. I am producing a death themed variety show that mixes elements of a living funeral with performances from drag, burlesque, comedy, and other entertainers.

Contact me if you’d like me to perform for your group, or to clown at your event or facility.